At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize