Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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