yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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