who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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