He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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