I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
vagina is talking i cant
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize