I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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