Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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