new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize