with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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