ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize