you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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