u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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