my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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