You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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