90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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