paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i already hear my dad disowning me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
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Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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