dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My breasts were aching with rage.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize