foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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