I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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