I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize