his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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