i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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