i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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