Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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