He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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