her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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