someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize