Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize