We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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