He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize