If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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