my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm really busy with my period
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