so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
As shirtless as possible
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize