if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize