So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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