How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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