someone threw a dead crab at me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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