She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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