my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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