My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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