Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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