I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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