God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize