The maid of honor just puked.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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