rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
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