Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just cropdusted the office
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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