the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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