break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I need help removing her.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
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I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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