I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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